What This Means to Him
by wakingonprospit
Summary: Dean had not taken Castiel out that evening with the intention of sleeping with him that night. In fact, he had not even considered wanting to do something like this with the angel since meeting him. But nonetheless, he is now holding the fallen angel by the hand and leading him toward the bedroom. (Occurs between chapters 20 and 21 of Both Have Fallen From Grace)
Dean had not taken Castiel out that evening with the intention of sleeping with him that night. In fact, he had not even considered wanting to do something like this with the angel since meeting him. But nonetheless, he is now holding the fallen angel by the hand and leading him toward the bedroom.

"Dean?" Castiel says quietly as he follows the taller man down the hall. They walk quietly down the hallway, footsteps muffled by the old rug that covers the wooden floors. The occasional creak of floorboards beneath the ancient fabric is the only audible indication of where they are heading.

When the two reach the bedroom, Dean lets go of the angel's hand for a moment to pull his shirt over his head and toss it to the corner of the room. He could practically feel the angel's piercing blue eyes trailing over his toned back.

Before he manages to turn around again, he feels two arms wrapping around his bare waist, hugging onto him. Castiel's naked chest presses against his back and Dean sighs out quietly at the warmth against him from behind. "You're sure about this Dean?" he hears the angel ask quietly, lips brushing against his bare shoulder.

He turns in the angel's arms, wrapping his own arms around Castiel's waist to keep him close. "I'm sure," he mutters, hands flattening themselves against the brunette's sides and rubbing over the soft warmth of the skin underneath his palms.

The two look at each other, eyes locking for a moment and sharing a look of understanding. Both sets of eyes close as they lean in for another kiss, this one slower and more trusting than the last. Castiel can feel Dean's stubble against his mouth, tickling his chin and lips slightly and making him smile into the kiss, appreciating the contrast against the soft warmth of Dean's lips.

Dean feels the other's lips curl into a smile, causing him to mimic the expression. He moves his hands to Castiel's hips and guides him toward the bed carefully, laughing as they stumble together a bit.

Castiel feels the back of his knees touch the bed and he grins, sitting down for a moment. His hands move to Dean's shoulders, guiding him to his side and then turning to push him gently to lie down.

The blonde chuckles quietly, scooting up the bed to rest his head on the pillows and reaching his hand out for the angel to take. He grins as he watches the angel crawl toward him quickly, immediately straddling his hips and taking his hand in an attempt to be as close to the hunter as possible.

"You good?" Dean asks quietly, wanting to check in on his friend. He squeezes his hand gently, slowly bringing it up to hold against his cheek and kissing the side of it reassuringly.

Castiel smiles at the kiss and nods his head quickly. "I'm fine, Dean," he replies quickly, grinning down at the other man with bright, eager blue eyes. After a moment he quickly leans down to kiss the man below him again, pecking his lips repeatedly and laughing quietly due to sheer happiness.

Dean continues the kiss, shifting a bit underneath the other man. He tangles their legs together, face growing red at the feeling of the other so close to him. His free hand roams across Castiel's skin, tracing his fingers against his oddly toned chest and stomach. He smiles softly, letting go of his hand momentarily to slide down, pressing his lips to Castiel's neck.

This causes the angel's face to go red and for him to bite his lip, tilting his head back so that Dean can have easier access. He shuts his eyes quietly as he feels the pair of lips leaving soft, wet, open mouthed kisses along his neck. He grins happily and lets out a quiet laugh, only to go quiet once again as Dean begins to suck and nip gently at his collarbone.

Castiel closes his eyes, relaxing under the kisses. His hand instinctively goes up to rest on the handprint that he had left on Dean's upper arm months ago. At the touch, he is reminded of the thousands of years that he spent in heaven watching over each human as they came into and departed from the world. It all had happened so fast. Time passes so much faster in Heaven than it does on earth. He is grateful to know that he can spend a much longer time with Dean, but is also worried due to his own immortality. He has watched all of the previous humans that he protected grow old and die, and knowing that this would happen with Dean terrifies him. All he can do now is constantly remind himself that falling has given him more time with the hunter and that he should make the best of it while he still can.

And so he reaches down to cup the side of Dean's face with his hand, guiding the blond to look up and kiss him slowly. He pours every ounce of love that he has for the human into the kiss, as if he could make the other see just what this means to him.

* * *

The two lay facing each other, chests heaving with their uneven breaths. Their skin is damp with sweat and their hair is messy and disheveled.

An almost euphoric smile is plastered across the angel's face. His eyes are closed contently in the bliss of the aftermath, wings sprawled out behind him and twitching slightly every so often. His left hand is holding onto Dean's own, fingers laced together carefully as a reminder of his presence as the two stay silent, calming down on their own respective planes.

Castiel eventually feels a pair of lips press against his forehead as they other begins to speak.

"I guess you've never done that before," Dean says quietly, talking in a hushed voice as if nothing else in the world existed outside of the human's bed and the brunette lying in front of him. "Being an angel and all."

Castiel's eyes finally open again, staring dreamily at the other man. He finally works up the strength to nod his head and speak, "That is correct. It wasn't anything that I had even considered as a possibility until-... well... tonight."

Dean smiles nervously, moving onto his stomach and propping himself up onto his elbows to look down at the angel. "Really?" he asks, "You didn't, like, feel pressured to do this or anything, did you?"

At that, the angel's eyes widen a bit more, and he sits up. "Dean," he says sternly, "Of course I didn't. I would not have done something so intimate with you if I did not want to." His lips turn down into a hard frown, and he leans up to kiss Dean's lips softly. "I want this. I want you."

"You're sure? This wasn't too soon or anything was it? And isn't this like... _Sinful_ or something?"

The angel tilts his head, confused at the cynical expression on the other's face. "Dean," he begins, "I don't care. I enjoyed this. You did too, did you not?" He waits for the blonde to respond with a nod before he continues. "Well then there is no harm in it. There are much worse things that can be done. Contrary to what many believe, there is hardly anything wrong with intimately sharing yourself with someone you love."

There was that word again.

Love.

Dean has to struggle to keep the smile that had slid across his face up. Did the angel think that he loved him?

"I guess you're right, Cas," he says vaguely, not addressing his concerns on the matter. "You must be beat though. I know I am. I'll see you in the morning, alright?" He leans down and presses another kiss to the angel's lips before lying down once again, wrapping an arm around the warm body next to him.

Castiel smiles softly, humming happily at the goodnight kiss. He had been expecting the other to remark on his word choice, but was not planning to object to going to sleep. He kissed the hunter's cheek once again before holding him close and shutting his eyes.

Dean did not need to tell the other what he already knew.

* * *

Okay so this was going to be pure smut. But I really just couldn't bring myself to write it? Mainly because since this was their first time in my story and I wanted it to be as pure as possible and more about the connection that they get from it rather than the act itself.

I'm sorry if this is a let down to any of you. I promise I'll write actual smut for them later on.

Thank you for reading and please leave a review!

(also if you haven't read Both Have Fallen From Grace, that is what this except is from incase you would like to look into it.)


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